i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
