you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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