i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
