there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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