thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
