I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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