he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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