Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
