it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
