rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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