tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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