Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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