don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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