You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
