all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
