you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
