Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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