Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize