He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
FUCK WHALES
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
