Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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