Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
