I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize