She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
