Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
