Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
