I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
