You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
