It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
