after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
