So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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