New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
this boner is exhausting
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
