You work out of a Hotel?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
