Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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