Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
