oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
