The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
