She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
