I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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