oh god the rape fog is back!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
