I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize