quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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