You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize