Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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