Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
