why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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