The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
