Dual....:-)
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
