I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
