Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
please don't ironically join a cult
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