you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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