Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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