too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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