Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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