Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
