Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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