you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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