I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
