She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
