I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
