if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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