Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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